Brownie Villanueva

In Loving Memory of Brownie Villanueva

I’m not sure how to start this off. Firstly I want to say thank you to my parents for letting me
write this send off letter; it’s a big responsibility overall. And of course, thank you to my baby
Brownie who made sure my heart was filled with love every day. Hopefully in this letter I can try
and express just how heavy my heart is now that he’s gone and finally have some peace of mind.

Furthermore, I’ll start by saying this, If you knew me, Isabella Villanueva, then you definitely
knew my Brownie. My precious chihuahua was gifted to me on my 5th birthday in a red little
portable crate. He was the smallest little thing with such a feisty personality. Granted my 5 year
old self had no clue how to care for a puppy so the training responsibilities fell onto my mom
(pregnant with my sister at the time mom thank you!). Nonetheless, we grew up alongside each
other, Brownie and I. We went on adventures and saw so much, whether that be traveling the US, moving houses constantly, meeting new friends, and eventually welcoming new dogs (who he slightly disliked at first haha).

Brownie and I just clicked. He was my best friend. He was there
after a long day of elementary, middle, high school, and eventually work. Just waiting for me to
walk through the door so he could sniff me and see where I’d been. Seeing him go from the most energetic pup to a fat old grumpy man was something I was so insanely blessed to see; and sometimes I did miss his playful pup personality but other times I was honestly just glad his stubborn self wanted to lay beside me and nap. There’s truly no explanation or answer within the world to explain how weird and alienating it is to suddenly come home to an empty house when there’s usually a boy that’s been here for 14 years waiting for me. No matter how hard I search our home, whether I check on the corner of the couch, underneath my bed, or in the bathroom where he always tore up the toilet paper, my baby just isn’t around. It really does leave the biggest hole in my heart. I wait for the click of his paws on our tile floors, I wait for his dumb loud barking at nothing going on, I wait for him to army crawl towards me for attention, I’m just stuck in waiting and grieving. And honestly I do feel the slightest bit helpless because my soulmate is gone and I won’t see him within the rest of my lifetime. But all I can do is preserve my baby’s memories the right way and carry on. Memories like when he rubbed his back on my mom’s carpet which she hated but I always thought was hilarious, or when he pawed at my face because he wanted something, or when he took on that huge dalmatian at the dog park and simultaneously saved my baby sister from a scorpion (he really did have the spirit of a warrior).

My Brownie was such a character. Everyone knew him and everyone loved him. I had a habit
when I was little and to be honest never grew out of talking directly to him like he understood
what I had to say. I’d always tell him “It’s just me and you Brownie” because no matter if I got
into a fight with my parents, or had issues at school or with friends, my baby was there waiting
for me. He really was my four-legged best friend. He didn’t even have to speak a lick of English
to understand.

Lastly, before I begin to wrap my baby’s story up; the day before he passed,
Brownie and I had gone outside to tan and catch some vitamin D. We both adored sun-bathing. I loved to tan and he loved to get warmed up by the sun and smell like Fritos. So we went outside as we usually would. I laid on the grass and he laid beside me. I saw him staring at me then looking up at the blue sky, it was a nice sunny breezy day. I adored how his ears blew alongside the wind. I would almost always pull out my phone to take videos and pictures of my baby but something was just different. I took a nice long look at my baby, how handsome he looked on the green grass, how his puppy face was now white and tired, and how he really was everything I’d ever need in a dog. I think we both knew his time was coming to an end. I could just tell by the way he was looking at me and the world around him, he looked proud, fulfilled, and tired. He really had outdone his job. But of course saying goodbye to your best friend of 14 years is never easy. Somehow I had some sense of peace at the fact he really looked like he was taking a nap soundly when he passed. Just a long nap as he usually did on the couch, on my bed, or outside on the grass. I had wrapped my baby up in his favorite red blanket. And I finally sent my best friend to cross the rainbow bridge to doggy heaven where hopefully he’s getting all the hotdogs, burgers, and junk food he wants. I really could write forever if I was permitted, trying to express and justify how much Brownie meant to me. But I think we’d be here for an eternity, because there’s simply not enough words in the English language to express how much I loved and will miss my dog. My Brownie was the strongest, proudest boy with the personality of a lion. He made his mom so insanely proud and I know he’s waiting for me wherever he is.

Thank you for everything Brownie, I love you.

Rest peacefully our sweet Brownie. Thank you for filling our lives with love, laughter and
fourteen years of unforgettable moments. You will forever be missed and forever be loved.